The Uncrushing

As the vibrance of beauty stretches
to include the variance in human
genetic expression,
as I may allow my disease to speak up
through my eyes,
As I may now allow my crushed heart to
normalize pain,
I feel now more concerned with the joys
that pull us all out of ourselves.
The impossible love I feel for everything.
The silliness of petty hate.
The silliness of creating distance.
As running is inherently chasing
when what you want is better than now.
I feel sick that I ever wanted to toss
myself aside in efforts for performed experience/
I seek a new name and gender and pillow sharer
but what does that do for what I see through and what
chance does?
The work of random persons
that give and take away.
Why do I seek to shed myself?
I write and write to one day spill out the good that I had all along.
It is how I give back to the world
what she gives to me.

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